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Dating Myths for Men

By Carlos Xuma

To a Man Who Wants To Attract More Women and Get More Dates -- But Can't Get Started

First - Learn the Truth About These Myths!

How Often Do You Find Yourself Saying: "I Wish I Knew How To attract the ladies and get more dates"?
If you're like most of the guys I know, it's often. More often than you want to admit.

We go out on "dates" with women, hoping that if we PROVE ourselves to them in some way, they'll be interested in us and attracted to us. And time after time that just never happens. The date ends with a hug or a quick peck on the cheek, as she tells you, "I had a real nice time."

If you've been put on the defense in this dance of romance, you can never really stop worrying, and your attitude will communicate things to a woman that will ultimately drive her away.

What I want to do is take a few minutes here and destroy some myths about women and men and get you started on the right path.

Let's start right away with:

MYTH 1) Women want what they say they want.

It's a shame we have to cover this one, but it bears repeating. All you have to do is see the apparent contradiction between what women SAY and what they DO and you'll understand that they are not the same.

Women have an ideal picture of "romance" programmed into their heads as little girls, primarily from bad fairy tales they read. Then they moved up to the "bodice ripping" romance books. Yes, those cheezy ones you see on bookstore shelves.

Women (and men) don't understand that they respond to definite behaviors much more than others, and they are behaviors that conform to simple rules. They'd be ashamed to admit them, but they are true.

And the good news for guys is that they can be learned. They're part of you already; you just have to learn how to demonstrate them.

MYTH 2) Women are hard to understand.

This is a gross example of laziness . Women are extremely EASY to understand. The reason most guys say those cliche phrases like: "Women! Who can understand them." Or other jokes to that effect is because men don't think the way women do about certain things. They think emotionally, while you think LOGICALLY.

All it takes is for you to learn how to understand their way of thinking to understand them. You don't have to BE a pet hamster to understand that he just loves chewing and running on that wheel in his cage. So you give him things to chew on, and give him a nice wheel.

Ba-da-bing. You just made Mr. Hamster happy.

But when it comes to women, guys want them to behave and think like GUYS. And when they discover that they don't, they get all mad about it instead of learning how women actually think.

Ask yourself this: Are you mad at the weather when it rains? Or do you just figure out how an umbrella works so you can stay dry?

One you can control, the other you can't.

One belief will leave you CONSTANTLY frustrated and angry. The other will put you back in control. Remember: It's not what happens to you that's important, it's how you RESPOND to what happens to you.

MYTH 3) Right this minute you have all the skills you ever will with women. (Or, you can't improve your skills beyond where you are right now.)

This one is the belief that follows right after the last myth. Men give up trying to figure out why a woman behaved a certain way, figuring that it's easier to just run around saying, "Women! Who understands them?" Just like everybody else.

Who could blame us for feeling this way? Guys want a very UNcomplicated lifestyle. We don't like hassles and drama. (Whereas women seem to feed off this energy.)

The truth is that your skill with women can ONLY increase from here, unless you're in a rock band or you're a gorgeous movie star where women are handed to you on a plate.

But make no mistakes - you don't have to be a rock singer or a movie star to get women interested in you.

All it takes is getting the right information to put you on the right track.

MYTH 4) Women who are attractive are more important and their opinion means more than regular women.

Now, before you take that the wrong way, let me clarify. A guy will tend to treat a good-looking women as if she is a precious commodity, and that she is more valuable than himself.

We live in a society (and a world) that is completely hung up on appearances. We love beauty.

We actually WORSHIP it.

Look at the covers of magazines. Look at actors on television and in the movies. Look at our pop music stars. (Interesting that there are no 'average' looking people making good music, huh?) We pay billions and billions of dollars on our vanity. Hair
coloring, makeup, cosmetics, you-name-it.

There is a well-documented psychological fact that we tend to attribute more positive beliefs and attitudes to people who are attractive. We respect them more. We tend to believe that they are more talented and capable because of their appearance.

"Average" people don't get the same kind of favorable treatment. As we all know, you can't judge a book by its cover.

Remember that hot women are no different than any other woman, other than the fact that she lucked out in the genetic lottery.

She's probably been spoiled and unchallenged her whole life because of her looks, which actually makes her EASIER to get than most other women.

MYTH 5) You need to convince, beg, or trick women into getting them to sleep with you.

Oh, dear. This one is where so many good guys go wrong.

Women want to do the nasty just as much as guys do. In fact, they get even more pleasure than we do, so they enjoy it more. The only difference is that women have better control over their desire than guys do. This stems from a time when women had to be VERY careful who she mated with, because she had to be sure she knew he was worth gambling her children's future - and her own - with. If he couldn't provide for her, she'd be in an incredibly difficult position.

Probably even fatal.

So she had to choose well. She learned how to read a guy's status and standing by his actions. (Never his words. Anyone can SAY anything.)

The good news to this evolutionary programming is that it's not hard to understand, and it's easy to see through the Matrix and understand how to make it work FOR you. All you have to do is bring out certain behaviors you've been hiding for so long.

MYTH 6) You have to be rich, famous, a jerk, or good looking to attract hot women - OR - You can't be a nice guy and get women.

NOT!

Women aren't actually attracted to jerks because of their abusive behavior. Or to famous people because of their fame. Or rich guys because of their wealth.

They're attracted to the potential feelings that these guys can give them.

Jerks give her a CHALLENGE.

Fame is attractive because of the POWER.

Wealth is attractive because of the SECURITY, COMFORT, and POWER.

And all of them are really just indicators about the guy that wields them.

It's easy to assume because a guy is wealthy, he can keep her in a way that she would find comfortable.

It's easy to assume that because a guy has fame, he also has the wealth. And he wouldn't be famous unless a large number of people MADE him popular, right? This is called "social proof," which I cover in my e-books and audio.

Again, the good news is that these are external indicators that you can simulate with your own behavior.

You don't have to be rich or famous - or a jerk - to get the women you want.

MYTH 7) Women are better than men.

This one is a lot like #4. A lot of guys run around with the idea that what the media tells you about men is true.

• That we're dogs
• 
  
  
• That we're only out for s*e -x
• 
  
  
• That we're the rapists, pedophiles, and violent offenders
• 
  
  
• That we start all the wars
• 
  
  
• That we are just a bunch of grunting animals who only love football and porn
• 
  
  
• That we're just plain BAD.
• 
  
  

Watch any of today's movies or television shows and they portray men as buffoons that can only understand "Three Stooges" episodes, or lounge around on our front lawns in wife-beater t-shirts on "Cops."

Women have more than their fair share of problems and issues, and if you've dated a woman for longer than a few weeks or months, you know I'm telling the truth here. Don't get me wrong; they're the most wonderful and complicated creatures, but they're not BETTER than men.

They're just women. And they can be understood.

MYTH 8) The more you tell her about you or about how you feel about her, the better your chances to impress her and make her want you.

This one is COMPLETELY the opposite. The more you tell her, the LESS she will feel for you. Especially if it's about YOUR feelings.

A lot of guys think that if they just tell her how HE feels, she'll suddenly discover the love within her for him.

Again, another Hollywood lie that is perpetuated because guys don't take the time to really sit down and think this through.

What is the most important thing to a woman?

HOW SHE FEELS.

If you can make her FEEL the right mixture of curiosity, excitement, and hope, you can get her interested in you.

I'll show you how to do that.

MYTH 9) Guys must "ask women out" on dates because it's what women want.

The single most routine and ordinary (BORING) thing to do is ask a woman out.

You have to have more imagination than this. This is the oldest routine, and all women know how it works. By asking a woman out, you force her to think of you in romantic terms.

It's like you just asked her:

"Do you like me romantically, or don't you? Or would you just like a free meal and drinks, on me?"

Golly. What a choice, studpuppet.

You should never invest money in a woman that isn't ALREADY interested in you.

That's like giving money to an investment that you know NOTHING about. You just saw the advertising pamphlet and it looked really good, so you bought into it.

I've got a bunch of ways for you to find out if she is really into you or not.

MYTH 10) Since I'm a "nice guy," I should be what women want, and therefore I should be getting laid.

Nope.

Sorry.

Negative.

This one belief will probably cripple you for life, as well as turning you into a bitter, angry man.

There are more myths about women and seduction than you would believe. They're misconceptions that have been pumped into you by years of bad advice, well-meaning friends, and our media and Hollywood programming.

You owe it to yourself to find out what women are REALLY thinking, and what you can change to start GETTING RESULTS with them.

Are You Serious About Wanting To Attract the Gorgeous Women and Get
More Dates?

Here's How To Get This Special Ebook, along with some bonus reports ...

Just go to the link below to download The Dating Black Book right away. Get started
on the path to success with woman right now.

http://www.datingdynamics.com

• Carlos Xuma
  

Carlos Xuma is a dating and attraction advisor, as well as a motivational and life counselor. He's the author of The Dating Black Book, Secrets of the Alpha Man, Approach Women NOW, the Advanced Audio Coaching Series (in its third year), and too many other articles to mention.

Carlos' mission is to bring men and women together through awareness of both our traditional and contemporary gender roles. He conducts workshops and in-field training sessions, phone counseling, as well as group seminars in the San Francisco Bay Area.

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